Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
