Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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