i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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