your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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