i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I am naked and annoyed.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
