Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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