Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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