just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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