she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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