Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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