so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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