I'm drive I can fine osifer
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I smell stomach acid.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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