I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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