we have officially lost it.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
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