He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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