He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
