wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
