Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
so much tequila, so little girl.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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