Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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