The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
