told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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