Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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