You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I supernannyed him into submission
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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