He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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