Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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