Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
