the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
