ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
