woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
