She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
