honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
