We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
