He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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