remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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