Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
