I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
