Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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