i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
