We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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