wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
