1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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