I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
