i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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