Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
