Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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