I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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