you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
