I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
