Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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