you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
